Story

 

To be or not to be, that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles

And by opposing end them. To die-to sleep,

No more; and by a sleep to say we end 

16 year old me is reading Hamlet's speech for the first time, a text we've been given as a test to apparently sort the wheat from the chaff because too many of us want to study English Literature for A level. 

I look around, everyone but me is scribbling something, no doubt they've been taken to see the play, perhaps they've been diligent enough to read it for themselves. 

I suddenly feel awfully sleepy. I don't sleep well and often walk around our estate in the early hours, listening to the owls, looking for the moon. It's surprisingly peaceful, but often, the next day, I can't concentrate very well. 

Surely I don't have to pass this test ? I did so well in my GCE English lit' and language and my teacher knows how I love it ..... I feel languid and lazy, almost not inclined to care, and not for the first time. I twiddle with my pen, hovering above the piece of paper.............

a little voice inside me says don't be stupid, don't be arrogant. You need to show willing. WRITE SOMETHING !!!! -- ANYTHING !!!!!   ( she's getting desperate )

I read the speech once more:

The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to: ' tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;

Oh god, I say to myself, sudden realisation dawning like a big blooming bomb and write;

Hamlet is wondering whether to commit suicide. 

and that's it. 

I've procrastinated so long, that's all I've got time for and I have to hand it in, looking as though I don't care.